Henry Ford once said “Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.”
I’m always amazed when individuals come to me with statements of defeat, hopelessness or frustration such as “Rod, I just can’t write a good proposal … it’s hopeless!” or “Rod, I keep striking out during interviews and networking or I can never convince my manager to my point of view.”
Don’t misunderstand: I’m not amazed that they confide in me. I’m amazed that they expect me to wave a magic wand and make the problem go away. So to keep the spotlight of responsibility properly focused on the only person who can solve the problem, I use a technique called bounce back. Here are three examples:
Example #1
Jorge:
“Rod, I’m no good at writing resumes.”
Rod:
“Jorge, you’re right … you’re no good at writing resumes.”
Example #2
Melissa:
“Rod, I can’t use the telephone to call advocates; I’m just too shy.”
Rod:
“Melissa, you’re right … you can’t use the telephone to call advocates; you’re just too shy.”
Example #3
Stephan:
“Rod, I’m a failure.”
Rod:
“Stephan, you’re right … you’re a failure.”
Is this harsh? I don’t think so. I’m not slamming a door in anyone’s face and they all know deep inside that I’m just trying to break down an obstacle that’s preventing both of us from making progress.
But what I’m really trying to do with this technique is to get people to see that they are whatever they truly believe they are. It’s like this: If you think that something really is a certain way, then guess what? It really is! Your thoughts and attitudes become “causation triggers” for the very condition you’re complaining about! I’m confident that Henry Ford would agree with me.
The solution? Stop complaining! Start thinking positively even if it hurts. Just do it! No one has to stay mired in the muck of negativity. It’s time to display a positive face for the world and enjoy all of the successes that are out there waiting for you … so go after them!
Best wishes and own your career,
Rod Colon
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